Sugar Moon
by UntoldStories113
Summary: Thinking about him was painful. But Joy should have known Sadness wouldn't let her avoid the topic. (Contains spoilers)


**Timeline note:** Set right after the creation of the blue and yellow Core Memory.

 **Note:** I'm pausing the "humorous" story for now, since I can't seem to make it work without a trigger warning. Not kidding there.

So instead, you get something that ties up a few loose ends from the movie. Enjoy!

* * *

This was still unnerving.

Joy had been thinking about it on and off for the last few hours as she and Sadness kept operating the console, but she still had no idea if giving the Core Memories to Sadness had been the right thing to do.

And neither did Sadness, apparently. If she'd just been _sure_ of what she was supposed to do here in Headquarters all along, then maybe things wouldn't have gotten _quite_ so far out of control…

No. No blame-throwing. Joy hadn't known, either.

The same went for the others, who currently weren't at the console. When it had become obvious that Riley would need only Joy and Sadness for the rest of the day, the three had taken a well-deserved break and retreated to the sofa, where they had eventually all fallen asleep against each other. They made quite the cute sight, with the way Disgust's head was resting on Fear's shoulder who in turn had his arms slung around Anger in his slumber. But the best thing about it had to be the way Sadness giggled whenever she looked back at them.

"Joy, your turn," Sadness whispered, low enough not to wake them, and when Joy looked at the screen again, she saw that Dad had gotten the card game out of the car, the one they had used at a few rest stops on their way to San Francisco.

"Are you sure?" Joy mumbled back. She would never have hesitated about this in the past; in fact, she would've been the one to push the others out of the way in her mad rush to make sure Riley enjoyed the fun times. But now… she wasn't so sure. She wasn't sure of anything anymore.

But Sadness was still smiling at her, the way she had been ever since they'd gotten back, and now she moved away from the console, so really, Joy didn't have any choice about this if she didn't want Riley to be apathetic towards her parents.

Taking a deep breath, she started doing her job. For the first time in days, actually, if she didn't count the dual-colored memories she and Sadness had been creating in the past hours, which she probably _should_ count because Riley had been happy then, too, but not _just_ happy, and… oh, it was all so messed up. Was "partly happy" happy enough?

Anyway, this was the first time since she'd left Headquarters that Riley was truly having fun as she was playing card games with Mom and Dad. Sure, her reactions to Joy's input were a lot more toned-down than usual, but then, Joy was probably out of practice. She hadn't been making anyone happy these past days, really.

But then an image appeared in front of her inner eye. Bing Bong had been happy. Bing Bong had been smiling as he'd…

Joy squeezed her eyes shut, bit her lip, anything to choke down the sob that was trying to force its way out. No. She couldn't think about Bing Bong. She'd lose it. And Riley needed her. Yes, Riley needed Sadness, but not _just_ Sadness - she needed Joy, too. And if Joy wasn't happy…

"Joy?" Sadness whispered beside her. "What's wrong?"

Joy slightly shook her head and forced herself to gaze up at the screen again with a smile. "It's okay, it's fine, don't you worry."

Out of the corner of her eyes, she thought she could see Sadness study her, but her friend didn't say anything more.

So Joy kept guiding Riley's actions, making her enthusiastic about the game even though it was almost three in the morning by now. She knew they should be sleeping right now, even though Riley was happier than she'd been for days, but tomorrow would be difficult. Mom and Dad had been understanding and supportive tonight, and what was now Family Island had been running the entire time, but Riley would have to go to school tomorrow, and more importantly, Joy was _pretty_ sure that once Riley had recovered from this whole thing a bit, she'd have to answer for what had happened. Her parents hadn't said a word as Riley had placed Mom's credit card onto the table, but there was no way she'd get out of this entire mess without a lecture.

Just as she had thought, when Riley and her parents finished their current game, it was time for bed. Mom and Dad both came along to her room to kiss her goodnight, and since that was about the best sleep aid a young girl could hope for, it only took her a few moments to close her eyes, so sure enough, the lights in Headquarters dimmed almost immediately.

"We made it," Joy breathed.

"We made it," Sadness echoed beside her, still smiling that tiny smile that was so captivating in its simplicity.

Joy watched her as she shuffled over to push the button that would send the Short Term memories down to Long Term, and a moment later, shelves full of red and green and purple memory orbs tumbled down into the floor, softly clinking against each other, and got sucked up into the tube in a shower of disturbing colors. There were a few yellow and blue ones among them, but mostly, Riley had had an absolutely awful day.

Sadness followed her gaze. "They worked really hard," she muttered.

Furrowing her brows, Joy turned to look at her. She hadn't really thought about it like that. The others had probably had great trouble taking care of Riley in these difficult times.

Turning around to them, Joy took in their sleeping forms as if seeing them for the first time. Sadness had turned out to be a lot more important to Riley than Joy had thought - what if the same went for them? Sure, she had mostly let them do their jobs in the past, but… what if it wasn't _good_ for Riley to be happy all the time? It wasn't just her and Riley; _everyone_ around here loved Riley, and everyone wanted the best for her.

In some cases, even to the point of self-sacrifice.

She viciously shook her head. No. No thinking about him. She couldn't be thinking about him.

"Should we wake them?" she whispered.

Sadness moved to stand next to her, also watching their friends for a moment, and then nodded. "If they don't sleep in their beds, they're gonna be all exhausted in the morning."

True, that. So Joy took a deep breath and then bounced over to wrap them all in a sudden group hug. "Hey, everyone, we made it through the day!" she announced exuberantly. "Time to go to bed! Things are gonna be brighter in the morning, just you wait!"

She wasn't sure what about their reactions cracked her up more - Disgust tumbling off the sofa in shock or Anger almost setting Fear's antenna on fire in a sudden bout of rage.

Fear accidentally pushed her off as he jerked awake with a yelp, but Joy just sat on the ground and laughed as she watched them try to regain their composure, and thankfully, it only took them a moment to calm down again.

"So it's over?" Anger droned, uncharacteristically quiet for his standards - Joy wasn't quite sure how to handle it. "Riley's made it through the evening?"

"We've probably been _grounded_ ," Fear muttered, his shoulders drooping.

"As long as it's just that…" Disgust remarked as she sat back down on the sofa, pursing her lips, and then tried to stifle a yawn.

"Well, we haven't been grounded _yet_ ," Joy assured them as she got up. "I mean, yeah, we probably _will_ be tomorrow, but for now, Mom and Dad are being awesome and Family has been running all evening and Riley's actually been happy in the end, so I'm sure things will go back to normal in the morning!" Well, no, of course they wouldn't. Not with most of the Islands down. But maybe… maybe they wouldn't be quite as _bad_ as they had been.

"We're here now," Sadness added quietly. "You don't have to do this alone anymore."

Joy furrowed her brows in confusion as the three visibly relaxed. Why was Sadness so good at this? And why wasn't _she_?

"So what _took_ you so long?" Anger grumbled.

Joy opened her mouth to reply, but was startled into silence when Fear gave a shriek.

"No!" he screamed, clutching his mouth with both hands. "I don't want to know! It has to have been _scary_ out there! That's why you took so long, didn't you, because all kinds of horrors happened to you, right?"

Joy swallowed her instinctive confirmation and smirked instead, exchanging a look with Sadness. For once, Fear's overactive imagination probably couldn't fathom just WHAT kind of horrors they had been through. But it didn't seem like a good idea to tell him that. "Er, sort of, but I thought you didn't wanna know?"

That seemed to catch him off guard. "Well, for… for reference…" he fumbled. "You know, if we ever…"

" _Leave_?" Disgust snapped, which, for some reason, made him flinch. Odd. Joy had no idea what to make of it. But then Fear, too, gave a huge yawn, mirrored by Anger a moment later.

Sadness furrowed her brow in concern. "Why are you all so tired, anyway?"

Joy frowned. Actually, that seemed like a reasonable question. The three shouldn't have done anything else here than guide Riley, while she and Sadness had been fighting their way through all those dangers and obstacles outside. It seemed strange that the two of them were so much more awake than the others.

"Well, because _someone_ ," Anger growled with a sideways glare at Fear, "thought he had to wake Riley up in the middle of the night!"

"It wasn't my fault!" Fear squeaked. "She was having a nightmare!"

"Shocker," Disgust deadpanned. "Because she's never had one before, right?"

"But it was _scary_!" Fear defended himself, his eyes starting to swim in tears the way they tended to do whenever Disgust picked on him.

Joy tried her best to swallow a smile. She was pretty sure she knew what had upset him so much.

"It was a _dream_ , you idiot!" Anger snapped. "It's not as if you had to rouse us in the middle of the night!"

"Look, I did _not_ overreact, okay?!" Fear wailed. "That dream was _crazy_! There was Jangles, and the entire school was getting thrashed, and that undead dog that was chasing its own severed bottom half, and..."

"It's not like any of that could have _hurt_ her!" Disgust drawled. "You shouldn't have woken her!"

Joy shared a look with Sadness, and had to smirk at the knowing twinkle in her eyes. Looked as if they needed to thank Fear for his jumpiness.

"But, but..." Fear stammered. "But everyone was making fun of us... and then Bing Bong randomly popped up, and..."

Joy flinched.

"Bing Bong?" Anger cut in, humming in vague interest. "Haven't seen _him_ in a while."

Joy bit her lip. Her throat was burning. If they started talking about Bing Bong now… no. Change of topic. They needed a change of topic.

"And you won't," Sadness whispered. "He's gone."

Joy's eyes widened. In a flash, she whirled around to stare at Sadness. "How do you know that?!" she demanded. She hadn't said anything about Bing Bong fading, and yeah, Sadness was good at reading people, but how could she possibly know…!

Sadness blinked at her. "I saw you fall."

Oh. She had.

Joy took a step backwards. She was aware of everyone staring at her, but the sudden energy had left her just as abruptly as it had come. "I just thought... I mean, because _I'm_ here..."

But that was even worse, because now, Sadness's entire face lit up in what was unmistakably _hope_. "You mean he's still out there?"

No… no, no, no, she hadn't meant that at all. She hadn't meant to get Sadness's hopes up. Sadness had been friends with Bing Bong, hadn't she? For the first time, for the very first time, someone had been talking to her as if she was an equal. Sure, he'd been ignoring her most of the time, too, but he _had_ seen the value in her words and actions.

Joy didn't think she could spell it out. There was no way she could just wipe that smile off Sadness's face.

But her silence seemed to speak for itself, for Sadness turned away now and closed her eyes. "I get it," she whispered.

Joy blinked a few times. "Sadness, I…"

"So let me get this straight," Disgust cut in, narrowing her eyes. "You _met_ Bing Bong?"

"Wait, you mean he was _actually_ there when they filmed the dream?" Fear added incredulously.

Sadness smiled, but it wasn't the pleasant smile from before. It was one that spoke of loss, and longing. "Yes, he was," she whispered, and then all of a sudden, tears were streaming down her face. "He wanted to help us get back to Headquarters. But… but we lost him. He fell down to the Memory Dump. He didn't make it out."

" _No one_ makes it out of the Dump," Anger pointed out, but it didn't seem aggressive, just confused.

"Wait, no," Disgust cut in, and Joy suddenly felt her eyes on herself. "Joy fell, too. Didn't you? The way you said it earlier…"

Fear screamed. "You mean Riley forgot how to be _happy_?!"

"I'm…" Joy swallowed, somehow touched by their concern, even though they were completely missing the point. It wasn't about her. "I'm _fine_ , guys…"

Anger scowled at her. "Then how'd you get out?" he demanded.

Joy bit her lip.

"Well, she's here _now_ ," Disgust huffed. "So everything's okay, right?"

" _No_!" Joy burst out, startling everyone into silence. "No, it's _not_ okay! Don't you _understand_?!"

Fear, Disgust, and Anger were all staring at her. Great. She'd meant to be positive. They'd never seen her like that, and now…

Sadness slowly came over to place one hand on her shoulder. " _No_ , Joy," she breathed. "They _don't_."

And at her earnestness, Joy felt her eyes starting to water. No. They didn't. They hadn't met him. They didn't know what he had done.

"He helped you get out, didn't he?" Sadness whispered, stroking her arm.

A dry sob escaped Joy's lips, and she felt the first tear roll down her cheek. Judging by the looks on their faces, the other three were completely spooked, but Sadness just stood there, keeping up that sweet, comforting gesture with a knowing look in her eyes.

"Sadness, how…" Joy choked out, "how do you _do_ that? How do you always know what…"

Sadness furrowed her brows in sympathy. "Well… you weren't saying anything… so I figured something painful had happened…" She took a deep breath. "Did he…"

Joy felt her lips quivering. "He…" she whimpered. "He…"

And then suddenly, the truth forced its way out. "He jumped off the rocket!" she wailed, sinking to the ground, burying her face in her hands as she sobbed uncontrollably.

Why had he done that? Wasn't there _always_ a way to make things right? All he'd wanted was to be with Riley! All he'd wanted was for Riley to be happy! It was exactly what _Joy_ had wanted, too! Why had she made it out but _he_ had been denied the bliss he'd been longing for? How could life have been so _cruel_ to him?

She flinched when she felt someone's hands on her arms, and when she opened her eyes again, she saw that Sadness had knelt down in front of her and wrapped her in a gentle embrace. "I'm sorry this had to happen," she whispered.

Weeping even harder, Joy buried her head in Sadness's hair and wrapped her arms around her friend in return. Her breath came in small gasps, and spasms wracked her entire body. But she couldn't hold it in anymore. With all the crazy things that had been going on around her, she hadn't realized how hard Bing Bong's death had actually hit her, but now that everything was over, she was completely powerless against the loss and the guilt and the questioning, and all she could do was to fall, to fall and allow Sadness to catch her. And even as the tears were streaming down her face, a small, detached part of herself wondered what was going on.

This felt _so good_. Why did this feel so good? Whenever she hugged the others out of happiness, it never felt like this. Even with the way the world had turned upside down ever since she'd left Headquarters, for some reason, Sadness's mere presence made her feel as if she could power through all that. For some reason, the warmth and affection Sadness held for her managed to mend something inside her.

And for the first time since things had started going downhill, Joy honestly, _truly_ believed that everything could possibly be okay again.

It wasn't fair. Bing Bong should have gotten to spend time with Riley, too. Bing Bong had deserved to be happy, too. But sometimes… sometimes, things just didn't work out that way, did they?

She was startled out of her musings by several sets of footsteps, and then suddenly, for the first time since… _ever_ , Joy was the one on the receiving end of a group hug.

Disgust had leaned her head against Joy's. Fear, as the most sensitive of the three, had started crying along with her and Sadness. And even Anger had placed a comforting hand onto her back. They were just... _there_. And she couldn't quite explain it, but for some reason, that was exactly what she needed.

They probably still had no idea what was going on, what with the large holes in her explanation and all, and oddly enough, the thought almost made her giggle. Was this how comfort was supposed to work?

 _They came to help,_ her own words echoed through her mind. _Because of Sadness._

"Th-thanks, guys," she finally broke the silence. "I… I think I feel a little better now."

They almost seemed a bit mystified as they all pulled apart, and Joy was willing to bet that Sadness was the only one in the room who had truly understood what had just happened.

"We should go to sleep," Sadness said as she got to her feet and then held out a hand to help Joy up from the ground, too. Her face was as wet as Joy's felt, but she made no move to wipe off the tears. "The night will be short, and Riley will need us in the morning. I can take over Dream Duty, if you want me to."

"I'll do it," Disgust cut in, completely out of character, but Joy could still see the shock on her face plain as day. "You two need to rest."

"You probably didn't get any sleep at all in the last days," Anger added with a frown.

Fear started wringing his hands. "Y-you're gonna be all right, aren't you?"

Joy locked eyes with each of them in turn, until her gaze came to rest on Sadness once again. "I will," she answered. "I… yes, I think I will."

And now Sadness smiled that smile again. The pleasant one, the one that Joy wished could be on her face all the time.

Joy released a shuddering breath. She did feel better. Even though Bing Bong was _still_ gone. She wasn't sure if that made sense. "So, uh… goodnight, everyone," she wished somewhat lamely.

That broke the spell. All of a sudden, Fear and Anger seemed to slip into the usual, albeit somewhat subdued evening routine of telling everyone goodnight and retreating to their rooms, while Disgust went to, presumably, fetch a chair for her night shift. Joy, however, took Sadness's arm and dragged her over to the space below the upper level. There weren't many places in Headquarters in which one could have a one-on-one conversation, but this spot was secluded enough to suggest at least _some_ semblance of privacy.

Once she was reasonably sure they were as alone as they could be here, Joy let go of her friend's arm. "Sadness… I'm sorry."

Sadness stared at her for a moment, and Joy supposed that an apology from her was probably _way_ too rare a thing. "For what?" she finally asked.

Joy averted her gaze. "Well, you know… for…"

For what? Leaving her behind? Ignoring her input? Suppressing her? Making her life miserable despite being the one who was supposed to make people _happy_?

…not saving her friend?

"…sorry," she whispered. She couldn't decide. She wasn't sure she _wanted_ to decide. She shouldn't have done _any_ of that.

"It's…" Sadness muttered, seeming a little confused. "It's okay."

Joy thought she felt a huge weight lift off her chest. Sadness wasn't angry at her. And Joy was glad to be feeling relieved about that, really, because she was pretty sure she wouldn't have cared about Sadness's opinion a few days ago. "And also… thank you," she added. "You know, for, for helping me feel… not sad, although being sad is what you're, kinda, you know, about."

"Being sad," Sadness agreed. "Not staying sad."

Joy's eyes widened. Was that it? Was Sadness the one who was supposed to make sure that Riley could _become_ happy eventually?

"I… I do feel better now," Joy admitted. "Even though that's probably disrespectful to… to B-Bing Bong…"

But Sadness shook her head. "He wouldn't want you to be sad," she argued softly. "He wanted Riley to be happy."

Despite everything, Joy felt her lips pulling into a small smile. "Yes," she agreed quietly. "Yes, he did."

And that wasn't wrong. It wasn't the answer to _all_ problems, but in essence, Riley being happy certainly wasn't _wrong_.

Did that mean she could just go on as if nothing had happened? Of course not. Her desire to make Riley happy had been a selfish one; she had realized that now. All she'd wanted had been to _see_ Riley happy, so in a way, she'd really just made _herself_ happy, especially in all those moments when it hadn't been what Riley had needed.

But at least she could see the truth now. She'd go back to making Riley happy, but _truly_ happy, a dazzling source of positivity providing a contrast to the negative things Riley was now capable of acknowledging. And she'd do it for Riley this time.

And for Bing Bong.

She'd promised.

* * *

 **Note:** "Sugar Moon" is one of the many names for March's full moon, so as the last full moon of winter, it symbolizes the ground thawing and the end of the cold.

…or at least I think so; I couldn't quite get the sources on the net to agree. Some say September, too. I think it has to do with which part of the world you live in. But I thought it fit nicely, so I don't really care. ;)

Attentive readers will have caught what my next one shot will be about. Can't promise you a date, though; Camp NaNoWriMo is still keeping me busy. But I'll be back eventually.

Feedback is welcome! :)


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